I can be wise, but I cannot be hesitant.
I can wait, but I cannot hold back forever.
My love for God needs not to be proved to anyone,
nor explained as a theorem under a certain time.
I can talk to God just like Jonah did:
"I am angry enough to die"
God can talk to me with words like the question he asked Jonah before:
"Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?"
And God knows deeply all of my thoughts and feelings,
only he does.
I know nothing as deep other than only deeply knowing that
he loves me.
He could take my life in a car accident tomorrow,
he could take your life while you sleep tonight.
And so everything, everything really,
EVERYTHING
lays on his knowledge.
I am not afraid of loving...
I have loved until it hurts,
until it hurts and there's no more tears to cry,
up to the point of having to give up my freedom,
encountering my greatest frustration and joy in...you.
I honestly don't feel like writing anymore.
